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Monday, October 24, 2016

Review: Midtowne Spa, Los Angeles

Amenities: 3/5
Cruisiness: 5/5
Price: varies (See their website for details)

Pros: All the action you want without worrying about being caught, unlimited towels (sort of), you can get a room if you want, free condoms.
Cons: Sketchy neighborhood, paid parking (or take your chances on the street), $4 processing fee for new customers.

I was debating whether or not to review this place. First off... it's not a Korean Spa. I'd almost hesitate to call it a "spa" at all, but it has a steam room and a sauna and a jacuzzi... so I guess it technically counts. Plus, if people are looking for more action... they'll find it here.

It had been years since I'd been here. Didn't really have fond memories of the place, but a friend (with benefits) had never been and insisted that I take him here, so I figured, why not?

When you arrive, you go to the window and tell the guy whether you want a locker or a room. They ask for your ID. Since it had been several years since I'd last been, my info had been purged from the system, so I had to pay the $4 "processing fee". He told me that they purge the customer database of anyone who hasn't been there for a year. So anyway, it takes forever to enter the information, pay the fee, sign a waiver, etc. If there's a line to get in, prepare to wait a while.

Once you've gotten past there, the attendant hands you a padlock with key (for the locker), a towel, a condom, and small packet of lube. If you need another condom, there are bowls of them all over the place.

Once you get in, where you go from there depends on whether you for a room or a locker. I've only gotten lockers. The place is kind of annoying to navigate... it's a three-story building (plus a basement and roof deck) and the stairs are easy to miss. But the locker room is on the second floor. Get naked on the locker room. Although I guess it's not required to completely strip down, but I'd say 98% of the guys were naked, with one or two that I saw wearing sexy undies. Like Century Spa, almost everyone wears their towel around their waist... I was one of the few that just walked around naked. If you need a clean towel, exchange your old towel at the front desk for a clean one.

The first floor of the building, where the entrance is, is also where the group shower, sauna, steam room, jacuzzi, and pool are. The showers are kind of annoying, as they have a motion sensor. You have to keep your hand over the sensor to take a shower. I get that they don't want to waste water (and presumably have an orgy in the shower) but it was still annoying.

The steam room is huge (at least three times as big as any I've seen in a Korean spa in LA), with benches and little cubbies to get a little privacy (not much) if you want to get it on in the steam room. The temperature isn't too hot in there, making it tolerable to stay in there for a longer time than some much hotter steam rooms at Korean spas. The sauna and jacuzzi are tolerable temperatures too, and the indoor pool is pretty much a perfect pool temperature. I'd honestly be happy if all of these amenity temperatures were at a Korean spa. (ok, maybe I'd like a slightly hotter steam room)

Also, off the pool room, are a couple of outdoor patios.

On the second floor are a bunch of private rooms (which cost extra). The locker room is at the far end of the hall. At the other end of the hall is a TV room, a room with vending machines (snacks and drinks and stuff), a porn video theater, another room with some booths (I guess glory holes? I didn't inspect too closely)

On the third floor, it's all private rooms except for a ridiculous gym with only two cardio machines, more lockers, and that's it.

Above the third floor is the roof deck. There are a bunch of lounge chairs to get some sun if it's daytime. They also allow smoking up there, which isn't my thing. In the back, they have a "maze" with twisty passages for you to explore.

All the way back down to the basement, there's another maze (really dark down there) with little rooms. There's one room with a sling. There's another little porn theater in the back. And a few more glory hole booths.

It happened to be "Bear night" when we went, so the guys there were a bit larger than usual. My friend and I fooled around with one of them though. And there were some guys that were younger and cute and not at all "bears." My friend and I did a lot of exploring and checking guys out, but mostly we just fooled around with each other and let other guys watch. It was pretty hot.

It seemed cleaner than the last time I'd been here. Doesn't mean it was spotless, and I still brought flipflops to wear... which is what I'd recommend. I enjoyed myself more as well. Maybe because I had my friend to keep me entertained.

The steam room and the basement was where most of the open action were happening. A lot of guys up in the rooms as well, hanging out by their open doors, waiting to invite someone in.

So if you're looking for a place to hook up without worrying about getting in trouble, for a price similar to a Korean spa, I guess I'd recommend Midtowne. I have never been to any of the other bathhouses or sex clubs in LA, so I have no idea how they compare.

Midtowne Spa
615 Kohler St (near 6th and Central)
Los Angeles, CA
https://www.midtowne.com/index.php?fuseaction=dsp_city&c_city=los+angeles

11 comments:

  1. Haven't been to the Midtowne in years but it sounds like they have made a few changes and some things are still the same. ALWAYS pay for the parking! This is not one of the revitalized areas of downtown LA. The creepy basement is the last place I would want to be in an earthquake but it did have an emergency door out to the alley. I don't remember any patios outside the pool area but they redid the pool a few years ago from the ads on their website and monthly emails. You must have gone on a Wednesday night if it was "Big Boys at the Baths" or similar. They have strip shows on Monday nights and Sunday afternoons and porn star j.o. shows on Thursday nights with many of your local go-go boys performing! The video jerk off room is right next to the vending machine room and across the hall from the showroom with the glory holes and display bed so you won't have the privacy you get at the FLEX in one of their 3 video rooms. Plus they mix in straight porn which turns me off.
    The crowd is a real mix of ages, races and body types so something for everyone? I remember the steam room being painfully hot but there was an overhead shower to cool off without leaving. The dry sauna was small and always smelled like burning towels. May have to check it out again if customers are purged from the system after a year so I can get a FREE pass off the website. Thanks for the review.

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  2. Thanks for the review! I considering going last week when I was in town, but I was still getting over a cold and didn't feel up to it.

    Do a lot of guys just watch? That would be my preference if I went, at least before jumping right in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, plenty of guys just watch. My friend and I put on a nice show, and several guys watched. Lol

      Delete
  3. Watch or play unless someone says "I'm are taking a break"
    which means "Go away".
    Midtowne is kind of a scary dump but give it a try at least once then head to the FLEX for the outdoor pool and better floor plan and crowd.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've still never been to Flex. I heard that there's no more steam room or jacuzzi, and the yelp reviews are pretty bad, even compared to Midtowne.

      Delete
  4. Sadly the steam room is now another video jerk off room with "stadium seating" on the tile benches and the jacuzzi is covered over with a wooden lid after they finally built one in ground replacing the old above ground model that was there forever. The dry sauna is small but hot and there are
    several showers that fit 2 men, 4 men or 6 men but at least they still have the outdoor pool for nude swimming and sunbathing. You can sun your buns and have some j.o. fun.
    Oh, yeah, there's a full gym, too, but sometimes it looks like a porn shoot with guys fooling around on the equipment!

    ReplyDelete
  5. FLEX is a drug den. Seem 98% of the clientele is there specifically to do drugs.

    The jacuzzi mentioned above is still closed due to someone overdosing and dying in it.

    The staff is the worst ever. Do not bother.

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  6. Didn't someone report a guy dying in the hot tub at Grand recently? Their tub is still open.
    Closing the tub for good seems a bit extreme.
    Chlorine does wonders.
    I can't think of any other place with a heated outdoor pool and hot tub.

    ReplyDelete
  7. They lost their "spa license" at FLEX when it happened I was told. The death was drug related which may affect why. In the handful of times I went since then, it seemed I was asked for drugs (or where they could find them) by every 3 out of 5 spa goers, and many were obviously fucked up, so, it's still a problem. Notice how few people ever come out of their rooms there?

    I continue to hear weird stories from people that do go and think that gay owned establishments that make money off something awful happening in a community (meth etc.) should be RUN out of business.

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  8. Thanks for the update. Sounds like they have an "LA County Stand Up Sex Club" permit now like the Zone and the Slammer even though the pool and showers remain open. Really miss late nights in the outdoor jacuzzi but the last few times I went after the tub was covered over and the steam room converted to another video jerk off room it just wasn't as much fun.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Midtowne has a FREE pass for new visitors that is good from Friday, December 9 through the 16th on their website.
    See it for details.
    www.midtowne.com

    ReplyDelete